April 2017 – Salty John : The Blog

It’s 1992 and Adriana is anchored in the small port of Luperon on the north coast of Dominican Republic. The choice of provisions was sparse in Luperon so Carol and I decided we’d take the gua-gua to the much larger Puerto Plata in search of more interesting items, perhaps with sell-by dates still in the future:

Early morning, pleasantly cool, the sun still only a splash of lilac on the eastern horizon as we make our way to the bus stop where the gua-gua for Puerto Plata is boarded. We sit on the back seat of the Mitsubishi mini-van watching in growing wonder as a steady flow of passengers file down the bus and take their seats. Carol and I scrunch closer together as we’re joined by four others on the rear bench. As each subsequent row is filled short planks are deployed to span the passageway so extra passengers can be seated and before long the capacity of the bus as contemplated by its manufacturer is impressively exceeded. In fact, fourteen passengers and a driver are aboard the eight-seater as the journey begins.

On the outskirts of Luperon we stop to pick up a policeman and his wife, a youth with a broken arm, a woman towing a small child, and a cock-fight enthusiast with his prize bantam held aloft, presumably to avoid injury.

With a mind-boggling twenty-one souls (not counting the chicken) squashed within, the gua-gua bounced on its way over hill and dale, weaving an erratic course around pot-holes and ruts, toward Puerto Plata. Julio Inglasias at 50 watts per channel tried vainly to drown out the happy chattering of this compressed humanity.

There are few things as annoying as birds pooping on your nice clean boat. It’s particularly distressing when they choose your expensive, dark coloured, Sunbrella canvas work to do it on. Clean up is tedious and there’s a real danger of permanent staining. So, what can you do about it?

Have you noticed how some boats are targeted by birds and others aren’t? I’ve walked around many marinas in my time and I’ve always been struck by how some boats attract birds and others don’t. I’m told that once a group of birds selects your boat as their privy they’ll keep coming back to your boat, to the exclusion of neighbouring boats, until something changes. No-one seems to know precisely why one boat is selected over another but it seems that once one bird has pooped this gives the signal to the others to follow suit. Clearly, if you’re near habitat that supports birds you stand a greater chance of becoming a convenience than if you’re located well away from a bird-friendly environment. So, don’t be a victim. If you’re a chosen one, clean the boat meticulously and move to another berth.

For the most part the birds sit on your spreaders and boom and drop their gifts from on high. Sometimes they’ll stand on the boat rail or spray hood and crap but that seems a less frequent procedure. So, it’s important to make perching on your appendages difficult. One way to do this is to run a length of fishing line – I actually use old fly fishing lines – from mast to topping lift, about a foot above the boom. You don’t need to add pieces of ribbon or, heaven forbid, old CDs, it’s the line that prevents them landing. That saves your boom cover from boom perchers but you still need to tackle the messages from higher up. A line running from mast to shroud a few inches above each spreader works well. On smaller boats it’s a good idea to stow your halyards in clips half way along the spreaders – I guess the smaller area for perching is less desirable. If you don’t give much of a damn for flag etiquette it works to have flags hoisted on port and starboard flag halyards – the flapping puts the little crappers off. At the masthead a burgee is effective. Other masthead deterrents include a VHF whip antenna and a spike on your Windex – standard on the Davis model. One thing that doesn’t deter birds are those bottle brush type lightning dissipaters; I’ve seen a bird nesting in one!

The triatic stay on ketches can be a problem and I can see no easy solution. Perhaps a fishing line running along above it, or flags suspended from it? Or just do away with the triatic stay altogether and stand a better chance of keeping one of your spars in place if you’re dismasted. A bit drastic, perhaps.